Comparing yourself to others

 

 

 

I know you've learned you should compare

Yourself to others, and you swear

That many can do better than

You ever could, and made a plan

To try and fight and beat them all

But deep inside you're insecure

And think you're worthless and no good

And so you stop to hope you could

Get what will make you feel

Complete and happy, and you still

Try hard to fit in with the crowd

And that can never make you proud

But listen here, you are just one

There's no more "you"'s, you are a sun

You have to know you are on Earth

With one great purpose, from your birth!

And all the things you do or say

Are perfect in a higher way

God made you do all that for you

And for the others, so be true

To what you feel inside your soul

Do what it makes you feel like whole

Relax and never think you're less

Than any other human, bless

All things and people and enjoy

The good in life, do not destroy

The purpose that you have, you know

It may not be fame, fortune, show...

You might just be a simple guy

You shouldn't bitch and start to cry

Be sure that you are perfect just

The way you are, and that you must

Be thankful, joyful, and to try

To do your best to feel alive

The real you is just the same

As everything, it's just a game

Of forms and roles here on the Earth

And everyone has unique worth!

This has been one of the main problems in my life so far... competition, comparison to others, fighting, thinking that I was worth only as much as the things I was doing were worth, by comparison to what others were doing. Or even worse and tougher, to what I did myself in the past! It was easier to do better than many but though to do better than myself when younger and with more energy.
So, for me it was like major relief when I read all the teachings about conscience and that we really are not our ego neither our actions, form, whatever, but we are way more than that, and the best thing, we are all the same inside! We are all made of the same thing, the same thing that the whole Universe is made, behind form. So, when you see things from this point of view, any comparison becomes really useless and even funny. Comparing only the things that wont last... what's the use to that nonsense? Is pure wasted energy. We are all the same only with different missions (Karma), that have been given to us so we can evolve and get closer to perfection. It's silly to compare, noone is better than anyone, or worse, for that matter. We all have the same immortal matter in us, and the rest is going to vanish anyways, it's just a dream, you may say, a role. Comparing ourselves would be like saying about an actor that has played the bad guy in a movie that is a mean person, when he was only playing a role, of a mean person.
I hope I made some sense with this one :)
Peace!
xx

Competing

If you feel always like competing

It gets you tired only thinking!

Is good to be the best and win

But if you need that, to be seen

It's bad already, 'cause in life

You'll fail at times, it's like a knife

That has 2 blades:

One is the win

And there's the fail, always has been!

Just learn that each of us is good

At something, and when in the mood

And set on it

You can move seas

But if it's over, it's unease!

The main concern should be for you

To always do what you wann' do

And what you love!

No pride involved,

No ego, and no other word!

Just feel the love for what you're up to

And life will be the best, it has to!

Always competing gets you ill

And you will loose your love, your thrill!

There's just one you, you're like noone

Noone is like you, you're a sun!

Each person is, has light inside

And should let all of it shine bright!

Noone is  better as a whole

Or worse in life, it's about soul!

So be yourself! And good or bad

Is just a thinking, and is mad!

You are no word, you are no tag

You are unique, so please, don't brag!

Sooo. All my life untill a while ago, I was convinced that I was born to compete. Even worse, I was convinced life was all about fighting against others, fighting to be the best, otherwise you just stop existing! My parents, actually my grandmother, cause she and grandpa raised me because my parents were working and had no time, taught me that I HAD to be the best in my classroom, otherwise "your mom will be ashamed" (that's what my grandma was telling me a few times a day) or that, "everyone will laugh at you" and so on. I cringe only when I remember! What incredibly bad ideas to live upon!!! What does this mean, then, that if I was the best, and fighting my ass off to stay the best, all the others were failures? Noones? Nothings? Even if I was not a mean child, (actually, I was very shy and introverted), I somehow felt above the others and better than them, because I could have all the good grades and be the "class chief" and so on. Even if I was, on the other hand, feeling very sperated and put aside because of all that. At times I was crying because I wanted so much to be careless and free like all the other children, to be allowed to stay out as long as they did, to go wherever they did, and to know all of the games they knew because they were spending more time together instead of staying home and learning for school. I felt so left out.
Don't get me wrong, I am not mad (anymore!) at my folks for raising me like this (although I have been for a long time), I know now that they did what they could and that's all they could, with the brain they had at that time and with their own background... but this was so very wrong for me. I am glad I've been through all this though, so I know now how to raise my kid, at least from this point of view!
Later, while after I had rebelled against them and left home (I maybe will post about this sometimes too), I kept living in the same way, I felt the need to be the best, the best looking in my group of friends, the happiest, the most smiling, the most careless, the best dancer, the one to have the best job and earn the most money, the best in my job and so on. And all this almost killed me. Because it is great to be the best, especially when it does not take too much effort for you to do that and you realise that you can do easy some things that others can't, even when striving, but after a while, especially when you are not 20 years old anymore... there will be others that are just like you or maybe better at all that, and younger and with more energy, and you, if you only see yourself as your success... realise that you start crumbling, as a person. Because the image of yourself that you build for you and for the others was that of a success (that brought lots of envy too), not the one of a real person with good and bad sides. So you start to suffer. And start to fight as hard as you can to stay the best. You ignore important parts of yourself and your life for that. But you can't anymore, so you become desperate. And as no success comes from desperation, you get even lower. You start hating the things you once loved. You start hating yourself, you start feeling ugly and old and ignored and all the bad things. All of that because all you knew was that you only deserve to be loved for the things you DO. Loved by YOURSELF and THE OTHERS only for the things that you DO, not for what you ARE. And that lead me to depression. I was feeling useless, hopeless, beyond tired, worthless and bad from all points of view. Besides, the persons that knew me as successful and happy and full of life and were envious all of this time, now started to say things like "see, you were not invincible after all".... or "see, you shouldn't have bragged, cause you are not all that, after all" (even if I dont think I ever bragged...). And what hurt most was that these persons were from my family (extended family), but people I thought they were good to me and nice and real friends! Apparently you can't have any real friend when you are only an image, a picture ... a perfect picture worth a million bucks, but not a real person. And according to the Law of Attraction, if you think you only worth what you can do, you will attract people that think the same way and see you exactly like that. Only a DO'er!
I am glad that my husband was not one of those persons, otherwise I don't know where I'd be today... He didn't help me too much but he didn't put me down either. He did try his best to help me, but not everyone can help a person in such a situation, I think you need to really be a shrink for that ...
So, as I was struggeling like that, having ups and downs, times when I was getting back on top and times when I was getting sick of tireness and bad thoughts, I was lucky one more time, because I got pregnant and had my baby. And he fixed my life big time! How? By not even allowing me to THINK about being able to compete in my job and life anymore! LOL Brutal but amazing! I remember a smart woman once saying "a baby puts your life in amazing order" and she was so right! Besides, having a baby, becoming a mama, gave me some sense of value (not as much as it should, as I was broken from that point of view) but enough to help me go by at that time... kind of.
There were bad times again, because, as I was prone to this, I had times when I felt I was not a good mother, and there were enough people around me who tried to make me think that (same people that were all for loving someone when they continually DID things for them, never for just existing), and so on...but that will make the topic for another blog post. I feel sorry for these people actually, because it is clear to me that they are unhappy and they don't love themselves either. But is not my problem, really!
Basically, after quite a while and after reading all my books, Louise Hay, Dr. Wayne Dyer, Eckhart Tolle and so on, I finally managed to start loving myself as I am, allowing myself to be imperfect, I realised that I am actually worth loving and that I am not a bad person at all (we are ALL good, basically, only the EGO makes us bad), and I can't even begin to tell you what a relief that was for me. I even got rid of my annoying acne that I've been fighting with for years! In Louise Hay's book "You Can Heal Your Life" there is a part where she says that acne is caused at times (most often) because you don't love yourself as you are. And in my case she was so right on the ...spot! :)
So, that is the conclusion, parents, please don't make your children grow thinking their only worth is that of what they achieve, and that they always have to be better than others. A child has to be comfortable with being who he is, has to KNOW that he is being loved even when he fails at something, as long as he tried to do it right, he doesn't have to fear that he or she won't be loved/accepted anymore if he/she fails at something or doesn't have this or that talent, skill or beauty or who knows what else. Cause it will cause big big problems for them later in life, like it caused me.
Compete for the pleasure of participating, but never think you are a looser if you don't win! There's no such thing as "loosers". We are all here with a purpose, we are all here to help each other and to understand that we are basically the same, there is no comparison, because we are all basically soul and conscience wrapped up in human form, and the form will eventually be gone, so isn't it stupid to torment your soul for something that won't last anyways? We are souls that have been forever and will be forever, we should not be condemned by our egos to suffer in this life and in any life whatsoever!
I should stop before I start saying nonsense :)
Peace and wisdom to all!
xx

Like What You Do - Do What You Like!

A very old but very wise man

Once taught us all about this smart plan:

"If you must do a thing, regardless

You better like it", or it's useless!

He meant that either you can do

The things you like, and then it's good

Or if you have to work for money

And do something that's not too funny

You have to try and find the good

Part in the bad.

And so you should!

Because the purpose of this life

Is to be happy, not to strive!

And if you live your life by doing

Things that you hate, you'll end up ruined!

So, please, it has to be a thing

That's not so bad about your gig!

They say the wiser man will change

Whatever is he can't arrange

But also, the wise man he will

Accept what he can't change, untill

Life will just give him something fine

But sometimes we must wait in line!

Only when you are happy with

Al that you have, will stop the writhe!

And then you'll get more better things

Because you attract what you live!

You live in peace and being thankful,

And you will get more things to bless you

You wanna fight against the life

And it will cut you like a knife! 

And always, think about the fact

That others have it really bad!

And things can always be way worse

So say "thank you" and do not curse!

Wow this one is long :)) I just love makin poems about the things I'm learning!! Everything inspires me! I love it!
Anyways, the idea here is the thing that I've just discovered, that you CAN make your job pleasant. I've spent years complaining and moaning and cussing at my job, and of course, my income became lower and lower all this time! When I started my business years ago, seemed so good and fun, because I had more energy and a more youthful way of looking at life at that moment, I think! But then it became hell! Other people interfered and lead me to feeling like this about it, too. But I cannot blame them, I should have just not listened, I should have just not let them dictate how I felt and what I wanted to do with my life! But I did... and Im glad I finally woke up :) After striving for a good amount of time to get back at least to half of the enthusiasm I used to have about my job/business, I finally managed to figure out a way. I won't get into details because they are irrelevant, for everyone can be different, there are millions of different jobs and businesses in this world, so each and every person should know about theirs. But, people, what I wanna tell you is: IT WORKS! If you want to, you can get back to liking the thing you have to do! I still don't like everything about it again, maybe not even half of it, but I still managed to get a big chunk of my good attitude towards it, back! Which is awesome because I already started to see income improvement!! 
In the books that I've read they say that once you LIKE your actual job, the Universe is more open to providing you with an even better job, one that you really are draming of! But only if you are thankful and happy with what you already have! Now, we shall see about that, but the important thing is that I am not unhappy anymore! :) I figured out how to do it and like it, I put myself in my shoes from 10 years ago and I started to feel good about it again! I am very thankful for that!
Now, of course, in my case, I am lucky, because I actually used to like my job...while ago, but maybe some people have to do jobs they hate from the beginning, and that is even more sad :( But even then, you have to try and find a little thing or two that are not that bad in it. And that applies to just about any situation in life ... after all, all bad things lead to good, sooner or later!
I wish one day my blog would get popular so I have people talking to me and telling me about their experiences in this case.
Allright, I think I said what I wanted to say for today! 
Peace, people! :)
xx

Learn To Love

When someone loves you very much

You have to think at things as such

That person won't depend on you

They have to learn to let love through

They shouldn't keep it all inside

Love has to flow, to come and go

Or it will rot inside the soul!

And when I say to "come and go"

I mean it has to always flow

Only like that it stays a river

And doesn't cause pain to your liver! :)

Teach them to love themselves as well

And learn to feel it and to tell

Never to keep it all inside

Because noone can use the pride!

The love is in each one of us

And has to be let out, it MUST!

Love! Without hoping to get back

More love, 'cause then will be a lack

Love just to love, 'cause it feels good

And not by thinking and by mood!

This little poem was inspired by my readings lately, where it said that love has to go through you, it has to be let out, so it can return back to you, by the Law of Attraction. In "A New Earth", Eckhart Tolle was telling us that the real kind of love is the unconditional love, the love for love, not for benefits. We have to love the others without waiting for love in return, that is the only way for us to be happy! Otherwise we are only prone to disappointment and frustrations and hurt. Because we can't rely on any other person for our own happiness, although that is what most of us does when in a relationship. We love and expect love back! You SHOULD expect love back, but not from a person, I don't know how to make myself understood here, is a bit more complicated, and I hope I understood it right. When we EXPECT things, they are supposed to come to us, but we have to expect them like... like a believer, knowing that love is our divine right, not like... "I love yo so much and you dont love me back as much... then you suck and I suffer!" lol. We don't have to NEED and DEPEND our happiness on them!! Hope this was more clear. Love unconditionally and expect love back from the Universe, from God, not from a certain person that happens to be your romantic interest (and then you are most likely to get it from them too!). I have made that mistake and I suffered so much, I still am not 100% good at unconditional love, I still need him to love me back and to act the way I want him to, but I am thankful for still having him nearby me and I am working at this! I, at times, wonder how come that I did not manage to scare the heck out of him with all of my fits! 
So that is what I wanna let you know, love for YOURSELVES, because that is what we are supposed to do as BEINGS, we are made of love and only the mind and the ego separates us from the real purpose of our existence, which is loving ourselves and the others, and everything else, because we are basically the same, we all have the same thing isnide us, the essence of the Universe, the Conscience, or the Soul, if you may. These words would have seemed nonsense for me a while ago, but going through the tough times that I have been through, kind of rubbed off the EGO shell and allowed me to use my intuitive intelligence more, and I am very thankful for that!
So, people, LOVE!
Love yourselves,
Love everything, because ALL has a reason, all is to your good!

Peace and love to all!
xx 

When is too hard

When is too hard

To do a thing

You have to breathe and just not think!

What is, it is!

It can't be changed

So go with it, and don't get raged!

Your mind will try to say it's "Oh!

So so impossible", you know

But trust me here, if you will listen

You're only trapped! Mind is not wisdom!

You'll have to do it anyways

And you can choose between 2 ways:

The silly way, to suffer double,

Once in your mind, once from the struggle

The good way is to just let go

Of the control, and on you go!

Just go with what is called "the flow"

What is, just is, we have to know

That only by the things we say

We get bad happenings our way

Don't fight with life, enjoy your ride

Is all  to good, God's by your side!

And every thing that looks so bad

Leads to your good, by God's command!

Allright so this is my little poem for today, cuz I realised that I love love making them, and it's very easy too, and if it's easy, means I should be doing it, and is probably what I should be doing...as life purpose? I was looking for it and I prayed God to show me my way, and then I just got the idea to do the things I liked best when I was little, and poetry is one of them! So, thank you, God! :)

If my poem was not very clear, as poems are just poems and they are not as clear as prose, obviously, I will try to explain what I meant, below.

I was inspired by what's happening in my life right now, cause at the moment there is plenty of happening in there for me to draw alot of inspiration from it!

Lately I have been struggeling alot, lately, meaning ever since I gave birth to my son, almost 2 years ago, my life turned completely upside down, not only thanks to him but to many other events with no apparent connection between. And even if my son is the biggest blessing in my life, I have been through struggles and things that would have been unthinkable for me prior to this period of time, and I managed to do them! At first they put me kind of down, but, little by little, as I was studying the Law of Attraction and all this New Earth and New Age Philosophy, they started not to feel as bad and as hard to surmount! Because I learned to let go of control and just go with the flow! I learned to accept the present moment and only try to do the best that I could, with the given situation, without trying to fight against the given situation anymore. And I found out that I was way more happy like that! I didn't get anymore feelings of uselessness and of being unable and of being a failure, and also, I didn't really care anymore about what others would say of me! Because I KNOW, I FEEL that there really IS a good in every bad thing happening in life (I knew that even before reading about all that). The things are only apparently hard or bad, because everything that happens is taking us to a higher level of consciousness, is for our best!! And if I start looking back to all of my life, I can see that from every bad thing, a good thing came, eventually. I suggest everyone do that, look back and try to find the good that came from a bad thing. You will sure find it, if not yet, then surely sometimes in the future. God only loves us, God does not punish us, at the most, we punish ourselves! And we punish ourselves usually with our mind, we create so much suffering with the mind! Try to only use your mind for things that do good to you and to everyone else, and if you feel a suffering, a bad feeling, means you are not using your mind the right way. Change the way, it IS in your power!

Peace to all!

xx

A little poem came out of nowhere!

(yes these are my eyes! :))

You only see what your eyes want to see
The peace inside is there though, let it BE
So just close your eyes, and listen to me!
You are way more than they told you you are,
When you will start seeing that, then you'll get far!
But please take a moment and think of it now,
Don't let your life run too fast and somehow...
You really deserve all the best and you should
Rely on yourself for seeing all good!



Oh my, I don't know where that came from! :D I think hearing again Madonna's song "Frozen" inspired me, because I only now realised that its lyrics are about all the things that I've been studying lately, about all this spiritual growth and stuff! And when I was younger, actually really young, I was good at writting poetry, but in my own language :) I don't know if I am any good in English, besides, it's been eons since then! BUT! I remember I REALLY LOVED writting poetry! And it was so easy for me! I loved it and the teachers were encouraging me to do it, and I went to some children's poetry contests...and then classmates started making fun of me for being an air head for that matter :( Let alone the fact that by that time, in my country was a communist regimen, so they were trying to make me write poems about the "great amazing communist leader"... UGH! All that turned me off from writting poetry, but I guess now I realised I was never really over it! Soooo... I might start writting again, for my soul! Even if nobody reads it! :D:D Just so! Is actually better if nobody reads it, it is clearthat I can't take criticism! LOL! I actually don't know about that, I should be okay with it, if living from the illuminist perspective :D
Allright, enough for today!
Peace to all!
xx.