The Present Is All We Have

The present moment's all we own

All that we need to us is shown

Right here, right now, it's all a gift

For us to find a way to shift

Our lives from future and from past

Back to the present, and at last

We'll find the peace we're craving for

'Cause now there is no need for war.

If we accept whatever is

And stay in peace and mind our biz

Miracles happen, and we'll be

Joyful and peaceful, 'cause, you see - 

When you don't let your ego-mind

Wander like crazy, get you blind

You start to see the real world

That is all made by our God

With purpose only, nothing's vain

Nothing's for nothing, but your brain,

When you don't order it to stop,

Will try to make you think it's crap!

You have to only use your mind

To help you do things that are kind

For you and for whoever else

Don't let it turn you to a mess!

So, breathe right now, deep, long and good

Just think of breathing, and you should

Feel how your mind is getting mute

Just meditate, get back to root

To present moment, to your soul

Feel peace inside you, you are whole

The way you are RIGHT NOW - no need

For nothing else, you are indeed

A miracle and God-like thing

You're made of energy, you sing

A perfect song, just don't destroy

Your holly spirit and your joy

With noise from ego, from the time

Past, future - nothing makes you rhyme

More than THIS moment, so just feel

Your inner energy, your thrill

In every little  thing you do

Breathe, feel your body, just feel YOU!

Each time you let your thinking drift

Away from here, the joy is missed!!

I think this is a fabulous thing, knowing about this "magic trick", as I like to call it. I am so thankful to Eckhart Tolle for that! I have been living a big part of my life being tormented by thinking... forward and backward, to present and to past, identifying myself with both. And that caused me so much suffering, because when you see yourself as being defined by the past experiences, automatically you get frightened by the future ones. The irony of this is that we can't control any of them! The past is dead and gone, the future is uncertain... so why do we bother? I think it's simply because we are crazy... 

When we concentrate on the present moment and only live in the present (of course, you can make a list of the "to do" things, set your alarms to go off when things need done, lol, otherwise you'll get in trouble...but just do not think of those things too much!). Trust God (who is in you, by the way, as in everything else) that will give you the best inspirations and the best "hints" as to what's to be done for your higher good. And He will, because He always does, only that you can't hear Him because of the horrible noise made by your mind, powered by the Ego. There is no heaven and no hell, the "heaven" that the Bible refers to is the peace inside you, and the "hell" is the torment and the suffering cause by the devil, who is your Ego. Jesus tried to make us see that in many of his teachings, only that people didn't manage to understand, especially because of their egos. The devil doesn't want us to feel good, does he! 

For a long time I had the wrong idea as to what "meditation" is.. I thought it was sitting and thinking long and hard about something. But hell, NO! Meditation is precisely thinking about NOTHING! Not thinking. Giving your mind a break, allowing it to get cleaned of the bad vibrations generated by it with so much thinking about present and future. The mind is a magnificent tool but we have to learn how to use it, and to learn how to not let ourselves be used by it. It's simple, if a thought makes you suffer, means you drifted either to the past, or to the future. Get back in the present. There are no problems right in THIS moment, are they? They only arise when we drift back or forth.

Here's a few techniques to help you stay in the present:

- become consciuos of your breathing, feel how the air is getting in and going out of your lungs, pay attention to this process for a few moments and your mind will calm down. It is recommended to do this as often as you can! (for me finding this out was vital as I was practically getting ill because every time I rush or am stressed, my breathing becomes very fast and shallow and it's like all the air gets stuck somewhere... )

Good breathing has a great power of healing and energy harmonising.

- another thing you can do is shift your attention every day, in any activity that you do or even when you are listening to someone, when you are watching something, to the sensations inside of your body, feel the energy in your hands, in your legs, in your chest, untill you manage to feel your whole inner body as pure energy

- allow every feeling to exist, don't deny any way that you may be feeling, just let the feelings be, try to be the conscious that is witnessing those feelings, because you, as conscience, are way way more than just a body, a mind, some feelings...

This is what meditation is about...of course, is best when you can be alone and do all this, and able to completely relax, but you can very well do it in your everyday life, and the more you practice it, the easier will be for you to do it, and you will see how everything will get so much more serene, at least :) I am at the "serene" stage, they say miracles will happen, but I can't tell you they will, as I didn't get too good at staying in the present moment all the time, so I am not there yet :) But I sure feel alot better than I used to, maybe even that is a miracle :)

Peace!

xx

When things are scary

When things are scary all around

Just keep your feet down on the ground

Don't think too much about what's bad

Try keep things quiet in your head

Feel all the energy inside you

The inner body, the life in you

Be here and now, but without judging

Or calling things by names, no tagging!

Get your attention on your breathing

That's all that matters, only being!

You'll find the space inside of you

That creates all there is, all new!

What happens outside, you should know

Is an illusion, just a show

Is nothing good or bad, it IS!

It all depends on how you please!

And how your mind decides to see

The things for you, so you're not free!

Make peace inside you, stop the fight

Against the present moment's fright!

If you just let it all exist,

Will go right through you, don't get pissed!

As long as you don't act like rocks

But just like water, it all flows

And you will be at peace and well

And torments vanish like a spell!

The more you will resist to things

The more you'll be tied down in strings!

Once you will learn to be at ease

With everything, you have the keys

To happiness and peace and joy

It is all well, life is your toy!

The other day I was waiting outside of a doctor's office to get in for a checkup, because I've had some issues lately that were quite scary for me, and I was getting panicked. I always get highly panicked at the docs, because that's how I was raised, to be afraid of these "monsters". When I was little, I was being told that if I wouldn't eat I would get in the hospital, if I don't get more thick clothes I will be given shots and so on... and well, of course that starting with these ideas, my experiences with doctors, as well as my family's experiences, were not the most pleasant. I only see now that it was all because the Law of Attraction really works! What you believe, what you speak, you attract!
But that's not what I wanted to talk about. I wanted to tell you that sitting there and getting scared, my heart started ponding and that scared me even more because I was at the Cardiologist so it was to my best interest that my heart acted nice so she won't get me to do more checkups and more nasty stuff, as pills and such, lol. So, I was like... OMG what am I gonna do??? So I remembered what I read ... and I tried to just concentrate my attention on the inside of me, and not on anything external, like the clinic hallway, the white robes, my ideas, nothing. I tried feeling my inner body and the energy inside me, I concentrated on breathing, and I just realised all of a sudden that it was nothing as bad as I thought. Thinking, when it causes you to feel pain inside, is bad. Thinking is only good when you wanna do something that leads to a good thing for yourself and others. Temporarily "disconnecting" my thinking process was healing. My heart stopped ponding and I felt safe and "at home". I don't know if this makes sense, you'll have to probably read "A new Earth" or "The Power of Now" by Eckhart Tolle to understand what the hell I am talking about. After this, I could just become present. I was all "here and now" I was seeing things only as they were, without attaching the tag of "scary" to the nurse, the tag of "cold and unwelcoming" to the hallway, the tag of "scared to death by what the doc might say" to myself and so on. I just lived  things as they were. The nurses were just people passing by, the hallway was just a hallway in a building, the doctor was just a person that had gone to a school and was practicing whatever she had learned there, to make a living, and so on. Nothing was a monster anymore. Thank God for that! :)
So practicing the "presence" does work, people!
Only that, what people usually don't pay attention to when reading these books, or maybe some do, I don't know, is that the authors do tell you that it is hard...very hard to keep being present, especially after living for so many years being... drifted away by the thinking! But if you manage to live being present all the time, you are freakin saved! Disconnect your crazy mind, keep it handy only to use in case of need, and just BE, just exist, be aware of everything that happens without seeing it through your own experience! Let it just exist!
Peace!
xx

Learn To Love

When someone loves you very much

You have to think at things as such

That person won't depend on you

They have to learn to let love through

They shouldn't keep it all inside

Love has to flow, to come and go

Or it will rot inside the soul!

And when I say to "come and go"

I mean it has to always flow

Only like that it stays a river

And doesn't cause pain to your liver! :)

Teach them to love themselves as well

And learn to feel it and to tell

Never to keep it all inside

Because noone can use the pride!

The love is in each one of us

And has to be let out, it MUST!

Love! Without hoping to get back

More love, 'cause then will be a lack

Love just to love, 'cause it feels good

And not by thinking and by mood!

This little poem was inspired by my readings lately, where it said that love has to go through you, it has to be let out, so it can return back to you, by the Law of Attraction. In "A New Earth", Eckhart Tolle was telling us that the real kind of love is the unconditional love, the love for love, not for benefits. We have to love the others without waiting for love in return, that is the only way for us to be happy! Otherwise we are only prone to disappointment and frustrations and hurt. Because we can't rely on any other person for our own happiness, although that is what most of us does when in a relationship. We love and expect love back! You SHOULD expect love back, but not from a person, I don't know how to make myself understood here, is a bit more complicated, and I hope I understood it right. When we EXPECT things, they are supposed to come to us, but we have to expect them like... like a believer, knowing that love is our divine right, not like... "I love yo so much and you dont love me back as much... then you suck and I suffer!" lol. We don't have to NEED and DEPEND our happiness on them!! Hope this was more clear. Love unconditionally and expect love back from the Universe, from God, not from a certain person that happens to be your romantic interest (and then you are most likely to get it from them too!). I have made that mistake and I suffered so much, I still am not 100% good at unconditional love, I still need him to love me back and to act the way I want him to, but I am thankful for still having him nearby me and I am working at this! I, at times, wonder how come that I did not manage to scare the heck out of him with all of my fits! 
So that is what I wanna let you know, love for YOURSELVES, because that is what we are supposed to do as BEINGS, we are made of love and only the mind and the ego separates us from the real purpose of our existence, which is loving ourselves and the others, and everything else, because we are basically the same, we all have the same thing isnide us, the essence of the Universe, the Conscience, or the Soul, if you may. These words would have seemed nonsense for me a while ago, but going through the tough times that I have been through, kind of rubbed off the EGO shell and allowed me to use my intuitive intelligence more, and I am very thankful for that!
So, people, LOVE!
Love yourselves,
Love everything, because ALL has a reason, all is to your good!

Peace and love to all!
xx 

Why This Blog?

(This image is from www.smartgoat.com, no idea who they are, but I thought I would give them credit for having taken their pic :))


Ooookay, so here I am, I just managed to create a new blog! Why Self Taught Goat? Because, by the Chinese Horoscope, I am a Goat, and because I am self taught, well, at least in one area, and that would be... the science of living! Okay in beauty stuff too, in DIY stuff, in arts and crafts... And because all the other names were taken and I am not a very patient Goat, so I hurried up and settled for this one. And because I think it's a funny name, and I am not taking myself too serious, for most of the time. I do not say that I am very advanced in this self teaching process of living, but I realised that I needed this outlet to be able to continue and complete the process that I started.
I dearly welcome everyone to join me in this project, with posts, questions, answers, anything you people feel like adding or telling me or even telling to yourself, because I just realised that it is extremely important to be able to somehow let it all out at times.
Why am I writting in English, even if it's not my mother tongue? Because I feel I can reach to many more people like this, and funny enough, I always felt safer and more at ease writting about myself in English, even in my teenage diary that my mom found and took to my English teacher to translate. And then the hell broke loose! LOL

I am 34 years old female, I am living in Romania for now, I am the mother of a little toddler, I am married to my highschool sweetheart and I strongly have the hope that there can be a better life for all of the people... NOT out there, but INhere. I mean, I am convinced that it all comes from the inside, once you manage to make peace on the inside, there will be so much better on the outside too. That's what I wanna teach myself with this blog. That I CAN. Reading Eckhard Tolle's *A New Earth* saved me, but I found out that there is lots of work to keep up...saving myself :)
Since one year and a half (pretty much after having my baby) my life changed and I have been through so much hassle and issues that can't even believe, so that's why I need myself to help ME to get out of all this and get myself back on track and living the life that I used to, or, I wanna hope, a better one!
Right now, writting all this, I realise that I could go on on this topic forever but I kind of got tired of typing and I bet noone will really read all of this (I know I am doing this mostly for myself but I would really really be the happiest person if I could help another person too) because I am sure there are others facing the same issues that I am facing!
My problems were mostly inside issues, of course, triggered by events that happened in my life, but I am sure that I kind of overreacted to many of the events, because there are people out there that have been through so much more and handled it so much better, but again, that's my purpose, to solve the problems that I have, that make me hurt so much on the inside. Good luck to me! :))
That being said, I wanna send a virtual hug to everyone that needs a hug, and head off to my daily chores.
Peace!
xx