Forgive!

 

 Forgive! And see the world with love

'Cause all is mastered from above

It's all God's plan, and for us all

We must make peace within our soul.

With all that was and that will be

Trust what you feel, your way must be

The one that you will walk upon

Even if sometimes you feel down

Or blocked, and nothing seems to work

The way you want, or you're berserk

It is all good, and everything

A higher good to you will bring.

Sometimes space's needed for the things

To just arrange themselves, your wings

To grow, they need some time

Breathe and the mountains you will climb!

Forgiving sets you free of pain

And frees the others too, from chain

Start with forgiving of yourself

What's bad in past, you should forget

For everyone, life will provide

The things they think of, they can't hide!

For that, you see, is useless to

Punish someone, you get the clue!

Forgiveness heals, so let go of

The pain inside and feel just love!

Like that the better things out there

Will come your way and lead you where

You need to be, in love and peace

And all the fight and hate will cease!

It was a big revelation to me when I read about forgiveness, in Louise Hay's books. I kind of knew that it was good to forgive and forget, because that I had been told in the Religion classes and  in the prayers that I had been taught, but, what I did not know, what didn't even have a clue about, was the fact that the first person to start with, must be YOU!! If you don't do that, it is useless to even try to forgive or love others unconditionally, it will.not.work! I realised how much suffering was producing in my own life the fact that I was not forgiving and accepting my own self. Actually I can very well say that this was the major cause of all my problems! I was not forgiving or accepting myself as I was! Once I started working on that, I was able to forgive all the others that I thought they did bad things to me, with or without their knowledge (that is less important). I must say that forgiving and accepting yourself the way you are can be quite hard, and you will have to keep working on it for a while (I still am) but is sooo worth it, trust me. It's incredible how many things will change to good, in your life, when you do that! Keeping bad feelings of blame and fear and guilt and other feelings of the kind, inside you, is like drinking poison every day and wondering why you are having stomach aches! Or why are you going insane. All that bargain is useless, actually the word "useless" is not describing it well, it is POISON for us! Let it all go, set yourself free, you are way more than the image that you or others have, about you. Way more! 
Besides, the people that did bad things to you without knowing, are not to be blamed too much, and the ones that did it with their knowing...well those are going to get hit by karma anyways! hehe! So let them be and be sure they will get it back to them, sooner or later, unless they ask for forgiveness.
Peace and wisdom to all!
xx

How To Get What You Want

To get whatever it is that you want

Is not hard at all, you don't have to haunt!

Just write down your wish, short and clear

Wish always for NOW, like it's here!

Don't use any words like "do not" or "no"

You should ask what you wish for,

Only so, it will show!

Then act like it's done, like the wish has come true

Imagine, and see it like it's next to you!

Be sure that is brought to you now, that is FAITH

As long as you trust God, he won't make you wait

The time that might pass it's only because

Your mind yells at you: "There's no Santa Claus!"

You have then to just allow your soul

To be happy like your wish just started to roll!

Thank God and be grateful, because as you know

By gratitude good amplifies, it's just so!

Be full of great trust, believe that you will

Receive what you've asked for, relax and just chill!

The doubt is bad energy, it only prevents

Good things to come your way, and slows the events!

Another smart thing that you'd better do

Is keeping the secret, give others no clue!

Because some might tell you that it is no good

If you dream so big, and will ruin your mood!

Odd things can also arise, but be sure

It's all for a reason, is nothing obscure

Use intuition to choose wrong from right

Keep peace deep inside you, there's no need to fight!

Wish with all heart, and the light that's inside

The harmony feeling, will bring what you like!

Watching the other day the documentary "The Law of Resonance" inspired me... There was this list of 15 things there, that you have to do, in order to have your wishes come true. I must admit I haven't tried it yet, I mean I did but not exactly as they say, because it is hard to get to the level of having complete faith that you are gonna receive something you are asking for, when for so long you have been taught that you don't really deserve much, let alone everything you wish! So I am still working at getting past this limitation in my mind, I am woking actually at getting past my mind! But that's another story.
Anyways, here are the steps they recommend:

1. Start with small wishes.
2. Always write down your wish.
3. Make your wish clear and short.
4. Always wish at the present moment, like it's actually happening NOW.
5. Eliminate the words "no" and "do not", or "any", for that matter.
6. Concentrate only on what you DO want, not on what you DO NOT want.
7. Act like your wish already came true.
8. Visualise in a creative way, fill your whole being with your wish.
9. Be convinced that it is coming true NOW.
10. Rejoice in anticipation because like this, the brain produces endorphines (the hormones of happiness)
11. Thank God, be grateful, because through gratitude, the good amplifies.
12. Be faithul that what you are wishing for, will be given to you, because doubt is bad energy, while faith is an incredibly powerful good energy.
13. Keep the secret, don't tell others, except for the ones that you know FOR SURE that will support you 100%.
14. Be open to unpredicted things, because they always happen for a very good reason.
15. Follow your intuition! That means doing whatever gives you a feeling of harmony and of well being.
Also, speaking on the same topic, Dr. Waybe Dyer was adding the fact that you do not have to actually NEED the thing that you are wishing for. Because if you NEED something means that you are too attached to it, and getting attached to things is bad. It does not lead to happiness. You have to be happy with what you have and with where you are NOW, to start with, and only then you will be able to receive what you wish for. It makes sense, when you think about the fact that not being happy NOW means that you only consider the present moment like a means to take you to the future...and time is not the answer to peace and happiness...time doesn't even exist, is a creation of our mind. All we have is NOW, the present. If we are aligned and happy or at least at peace with the present, we can create anything, we are safe.

Hopefully we will all manage to do all this and have our wishes come true, because we all deserve the best in this life, it's only up to us to be open and ready to receive it!
Peace to all!
xx

Competing

If you feel always like competing

It gets you tired only thinking!

Is good to be the best and win

But if you need that, to be seen

It's bad already, 'cause in life

You'll fail at times, it's like a knife

That has 2 blades:

One is the win

And there's the fail, always has been!

Just learn that each of us is good

At something, and when in the mood

And set on it

You can move seas

But if it's over, it's unease!

The main concern should be for you

To always do what you wann' do

And what you love!

No pride involved,

No ego, and no other word!

Just feel the love for what you're up to

And life will be the best, it has to!

Always competing gets you ill

And you will loose your love, your thrill!

There's just one you, you're like noone

Noone is like you, you're a sun!

Each person is, has light inside

And should let all of it shine bright!

Noone is  better as a whole

Or worse in life, it's about soul!

So be yourself! And good or bad

Is just a thinking, and is mad!

You are no word, you are no tag

You are unique, so please, don't brag!

Sooo. All my life untill a while ago, I was convinced that I was born to compete. Even worse, I was convinced life was all about fighting against others, fighting to be the best, otherwise you just stop existing! My parents, actually my grandmother, cause she and grandpa raised me because my parents were working and had no time, taught me that I HAD to be the best in my classroom, otherwise "your mom will be ashamed" (that's what my grandma was telling me a few times a day) or that, "everyone will laugh at you" and so on. I cringe only when I remember! What incredibly bad ideas to live upon!!! What does this mean, then, that if I was the best, and fighting my ass off to stay the best, all the others were failures? Noones? Nothings? Even if I was not a mean child, (actually, I was very shy and introverted), I somehow felt above the others and better than them, because I could have all the good grades and be the "class chief" and so on. Even if I was, on the other hand, feeling very sperated and put aside because of all that. At times I was crying because I wanted so much to be careless and free like all the other children, to be allowed to stay out as long as they did, to go wherever they did, and to know all of the games they knew because they were spending more time together instead of staying home and learning for school. I felt so left out.
Don't get me wrong, I am not mad (anymore!) at my folks for raising me like this (although I have been for a long time), I know now that they did what they could and that's all they could, with the brain they had at that time and with their own background... but this was so very wrong for me. I am glad I've been through all this though, so I know now how to raise my kid, at least from this point of view!
Later, while after I had rebelled against them and left home (I maybe will post about this sometimes too), I kept living in the same way, I felt the need to be the best, the best looking in my group of friends, the happiest, the most smiling, the most careless, the best dancer, the one to have the best job and earn the most money, the best in my job and so on. And all this almost killed me. Because it is great to be the best, especially when it does not take too much effort for you to do that and you realise that you can do easy some things that others can't, even when striving, but after a while, especially when you are not 20 years old anymore... there will be others that are just like you or maybe better at all that, and younger and with more energy, and you, if you only see yourself as your success... realise that you start crumbling, as a person. Because the image of yourself that you build for you and for the others was that of a success (that brought lots of envy too), not the one of a real person with good and bad sides. So you start to suffer. And start to fight as hard as you can to stay the best. You ignore important parts of yourself and your life for that. But you can't anymore, so you become desperate. And as no success comes from desperation, you get even lower. You start hating the things you once loved. You start hating yourself, you start feeling ugly and old and ignored and all the bad things. All of that because all you knew was that you only deserve to be loved for the things you DO. Loved by YOURSELF and THE OTHERS only for the things that you DO, not for what you ARE. And that lead me to depression. I was feeling useless, hopeless, beyond tired, worthless and bad from all points of view. Besides, the persons that knew me as successful and happy and full of life and were envious all of this time, now started to say things like "see, you were not invincible after all".... or "see, you shouldn't have bragged, cause you are not all that, after all" (even if I dont think I ever bragged...). And what hurt most was that these persons were from my family (extended family), but people I thought they were good to me and nice and real friends! Apparently you can't have any real friend when you are only an image, a picture ... a perfect picture worth a million bucks, but not a real person. And according to the Law of Attraction, if you think you only worth what you can do, you will attract people that think the same way and see you exactly like that. Only a DO'er!
I am glad that my husband was not one of those persons, otherwise I don't know where I'd be today... He didn't help me too much but he didn't put me down either. He did try his best to help me, but not everyone can help a person in such a situation, I think you need to really be a shrink for that ...
So, as I was struggeling like that, having ups and downs, times when I was getting back on top and times when I was getting sick of tireness and bad thoughts, I was lucky one more time, because I got pregnant and had my baby. And he fixed my life big time! How? By not even allowing me to THINK about being able to compete in my job and life anymore! LOL Brutal but amazing! I remember a smart woman once saying "a baby puts your life in amazing order" and she was so right! Besides, having a baby, becoming a mama, gave me some sense of value (not as much as it should, as I was broken from that point of view) but enough to help me go by at that time... kind of.
There were bad times again, because, as I was prone to this, I had times when I felt I was not a good mother, and there were enough people around me who tried to make me think that (same people that were all for loving someone when they continually DID things for them, never for just existing), and so on...but that will make the topic for another blog post. I feel sorry for these people actually, because it is clear to me that they are unhappy and they don't love themselves either. But is not my problem, really!
Basically, after quite a while and after reading all my books, Louise Hay, Dr. Wayne Dyer, Eckhart Tolle and so on, I finally managed to start loving myself as I am, allowing myself to be imperfect, I realised that I am actually worth loving and that I am not a bad person at all (we are ALL good, basically, only the EGO makes us bad), and I can't even begin to tell you what a relief that was for me. I even got rid of my annoying acne that I've been fighting with for years! In Louise Hay's book "You Can Heal Your Life" there is a part where she says that acne is caused at times (most often) because you don't love yourself as you are. And in my case she was so right on the ...spot! :)
So, that is the conclusion, parents, please don't make your children grow thinking their only worth is that of what they achieve, and that they always have to be better than others. A child has to be comfortable with being who he is, has to KNOW that he is being loved even when he fails at something, as long as he tried to do it right, he doesn't have to fear that he or she won't be loved/accepted anymore if he/she fails at something or doesn't have this or that talent, skill or beauty or who knows what else. Cause it will cause big big problems for them later in life, like it caused me.
Compete for the pleasure of participating, but never think you are a looser if you don't win! There's no such thing as "loosers". We are all here with a purpose, we are all here to help each other and to understand that we are basically the same, there is no comparison, because we are all basically soul and conscience wrapped up in human form, and the form will eventually be gone, so isn't it stupid to torment your soul for something that won't last anyways? We are souls that have been forever and will be forever, we should not be condemned by our egos to suffer in this life and in any life whatsoever!
I should stop before I start saying nonsense :)
Peace and wisdom to all!
xx

Like What You Do - Do What You Like!

A very old but very wise man

Once taught us all about this smart plan:

"If you must do a thing, regardless

You better like it", or it's useless!

He meant that either you can do

The things you like, and then it's good

Or if you have to work for money

And do something that's not too funny

You have to try and find the good

Part in the bad.

And so you should!

Because the purpose of this life

Is to be happy, not to strive!

And if you live your life by doing

Things that you hate, you'll end up ruined!

So, please, it has to be a thing

That's not so bad about your gig!

They say the wiser man will change

Whatever is he can't arrange

But also, the wise man he will

Accept what he can't change, untill

Life will just give him something fine

But sometimes we must wait in line!

Only when you are happy with

Al that you have, will stop the writhe!

And then you'll get more better things

Because you attract what you live!

You live in peace and being thankful,

And you will get more things to bless you

You wanna fight against the life

And it will cut you like a knife! 

And always, think about the fact

That others have it really bad!

And things can always be way worse

So say "thank you" and do not curse!

Wow this one is long :)) I just love makin poems about the things I'm learning!! Everything inspires me! I love it!
Anyways, the idea here is the thing that I've just discovered, that you CAN make your job pleasant. I've spent years complaining and moaning and cussing at my job, and of course, my income became lower and lower all this time! When I started my business years ago, seemed so good and fun, because I had more energy and a more youthful way of looking at life at that moment, I think! But then it became hell! Other people interfered and lead me to feeling like this about it, too. But I cannot blame them, I should have just not listened, I should have just not let them dictate how I felt and what I wanted to do with my life! But I did... and Im glad I finally woke up :) After striving for a good amount of time to get back at least to half of the enthusiasm I used to have about my job/business, I finally managed to figure out a way. I won't get into details because they are irrelevant, for everyone can be different, there are millions of different jobs and businesses in this world, so each and every person should know about theirs. But, people, what I wanna tell you is: IT WORKS! If you want to, you can get back to liking the thing you have to do! I still don't like everything about it again, maybe not even half of it, but I still managed to get a big chunk of my good attitude towards it, back! Which is awesome because I already started to see income improvement!! 
In the books that I've read they say that once you LIKE your actual job, the Universe is more open to providing you with an even better job, one that you really are draming of! But only if you are thankful and happy with what you already have! Now, we shall see about that, but the important thing is that I am not unhappy anymore! :) I figured out how to do it and like it, I put myself in my shoes from 10 years ago and I started to feel good about it again! I am very thankful for that!
Now, of course, in my case, I am lucky, because I actually used to like my job...while ago, but maybe some people have to do jobs they hate from the beginning, and that is even more sad :( But even then, you have to try and find a little thing or two that are not that bad in it. And that applies to just about any situation in life ... after all, all bad things lead to good, sooner or later!
I wish one day my blog would get popular so I have people talking to me and telling me about their experiences in this case.
Allright, I think I said what I wanted to say for today! 
Peace, people! :)
xx

Learn To Love

When someone loves you very much

You have to think at things as such

That person won't depend on you

They have to learn to let love through

They shouldn't keep it all inside

Love has to flow, to come and go

Or it will rot inside the soul!

And when I say to "come and go"

I mean it has to always flow

Only like that it stays a river

And doesn't cause pain to your liver! :)

Teach them to love themselves as well

And learn to feel it and to tell

Never to keep it all inside

Because noone can use the pride!

The love is in each one of us

And has to be let out, it MUST!

Love! Without hoping to get back

More love, 'cause then will be a lack

Love just to love, 'cause it feels good

And not by thinking and by mood!

This little poem was inspired by my readings lately, where it said that love has to go through you, it has to be let out, so it can return back to you, by the Law of Attraction. In "A New Earth", Eckhart Tolle was telling us that the real kind of love is the unconditional love, the love for love, not for benefits. We have to love the others without waiting for love in return, that is the only way for us to be happy! Otherwise we are only prone to disappointment and frustrations and hurt. Because we can't rely on any other person for our own happiness, although that is what most of us does when in a relationship. We love and expect love back! You SHOULD expect love back, but not from a person, I don't know how to make myself understood here, is a bit more complicated, and I hope I understood it right. When we EXPECT things, they are supposed to come to us, but we have to expect them like... like a believer, knowing that love is our divine right, not like... "I love yo so much and you dont love me back as much... then you suck and I suffer!" lol. We don't have to NEED and DEPEND our happiness on them!! Hope this was more clear. Love unconditionally and expect love back from the Universe, from God, not from a certain person that happens to be your romantic interest (and then you are most likely to get it from them too!). I have made that mistake and I suffered so much, I still am not 100% good at unconditional love, I still need him to love me back and to act the way I want him to, but I am thankful for still having him nearby me and I am working at this! I, at times, wonder how come that I did not manage to scare the heck out of him with all of my fits! 
So that is what I wanna let you know, love for YOURSELVES, because that is what we are supposed to do as BEINGS, we are made of love and only the mind and the ego separates us from the real purpose of our existence, which is loving ourselves and the others, and everything else, because we are basically the same, we all have the same thing isnide us, the essence of the Universe, the Conscience, or the Soul, if you may. These words would have seemed nonsense for me a while ago, but going through the tough times that I have been through, kind of rubbed off the EGO shell and allowed me to use my intuitive intelligence more, and I am very thankful for that!
So, people, LOVE!
Love yourselves,
Love everything, because ALL has a reason, all is to your good!

Peace and love to all!
xx 

When is too hard

When is too hard

To do a thing

You have to breathe and just not think!

What is, it is!

It can't be changed

So go with it, and don't get raged!

Your mind will try to say it's "Oh!

So so impossible", you know

But trust me here, if you will listen

You're only trapped! Mind is not wisdom!

You'll have to do it anyways

And you can choose between 2 ways:

The silly way, to suffer double,

Once in your mind, once from the struggle

The good way is to just let go

Of the control, and on you go!

Just go with what is called "the flow"

What is, just is, we have to know

That only by the things we say

We get bad happenings our way

Don't fight with life, enjoy your ride

Is all  to good, God's by your side!

And every thing that looks so bad

Leads to your good, by God's command!

Allright so this is my little poem for today, cuz I realised that I love love making them, and it's very easy too, and if it's easy, means I should be doing it, and is probably what I should be doing...as life purpose? I was looking for it and I prayed God to show me my way, and then I just got the idea to do the things I liked best when I was little, and poetry is one of them! So, thank you, God! :)

If my poem was not very clear, as poems are just poems and they are not as clear as prose, obviously, I will try to explain what I meant, below.

I was inspired by what's happening in my life right now, cause at the moment there is plenty of happening in there for me to draw alot of inspiration from it!

Lately I have been struggeling alot, lately, meaning ever since I gave birth to my son, almost 2 years ago, my life turned completely upside down, not only thanks to him but to many other events with no apparent connection between. And even if my son is the biggest blessing in my life, I have been through struggles and things that would have been unthinkable for me prior to this period of time, and I managed to do them! At first they put me kind of down, but, little by little, as I was studying the Law of Attraction and all this New Earth and New Age Philosophy, they started not to feel as bad and as hard to surmount! Because I learned to let go of control and just go with the flow! I learned to accept the present moment and only try to do the best that I could, with the given situation, without trying to fight against the given situation anymore. And I found out that I was way more happy like that! I didn't get anymore feelings of uselessness and of being unable and of being a failure, and also, I didn't really care anymore about what others would say of me! Because I KNOW, I FEEL that there really IS a good in every bad thing happening in life (I knew that even before reading about all that). The things are only apparently hard or bad, because everything that happens is taking us to a higher level of consciousness, is for our best!! And if I start looking back to all of my life, I can see that from every bad thing, a good thing came, eventually. I suggest everyone do that, look back and try to find the good that came from a bad thing. You will sure find it, if not yet, then surely sometimes in the future. God only loves us, God does not punish us, at the most, we punish ourselves! And we punish ourselves usually with our mind, we create so much suffering with the mind! Try to only use your mind for things that do good to you and to everyone else, and if you feel a suffering, a bad feeling, means you are not using your mind the right way. Change the way, it IS in your power!

Peace to all!

xx

Why This Blog?

(This image is from www.smartgoat.com, no idea who they are, but I thought I would give them credit for having taken their pic :))


Ooookay, so here I am, I just managed to create a new blog! Why Self Taught Goat? Because, by the Chinese Horoscope, I am a Goat, and because I am self taught, well, at least in one area, and that would be... the science of living! Okay in beauty stuff too, in DIY stuff, in arts and crafts... And because all the other names were taken and I am not a very patient Goat, so I hurried up and settled for this one. And because I think it's a funny name, and I am not taking myself too serious, for most of the time. I do not say that I am very advanced in this self teaching process of living, but I realised that I needed this outlet to be able to continue and complete the process that I started.
I dearly welcome everyone to join me in this project, with posts, questions, answers, anything you people feel like adding or telling me or even telling to yourself, because I just realised that it is extremely important to be able to somehow let it all out at times.
Why am I writting in English, even if it's not my mother tongue? Because I feel I can reach to many more people like this, and funny enough, I always felt safer and more at ease writting about myself in English, even in my teenage diary that my mom found and took to my English teacher to translate. And then the hell broke loose! LOL

I am 34 years old female, I am living in Romania for now, I am the mother of a little toddler, I am married to my highschool sweetheart and I strongly have the hope that there can be a better life for all of the people... NOT out there, but INhere. I mean, I am convinced that it all comes from the inside, once you manage to make peace on the inside, there will be so much better on the outside too. That's what I wanna teach myself with this blog. That I CAN. Reading Eckhard Tolle's *A New Earth* saved me, but I found out that there is lots of work to keep up...saving myself :)
Since one year and a half (pretty much after having my baby) my life changed and I have been through so much hassle and issues that can't even believe, so that's why I need myself to help ME to get out of all this and get myself back on track and living the life that I used to, or, I wanna hope, a better one!
Right now, writting all this, I realise that I could go on on this topic forever but I kind of got tired of typing and I bet noone will really read all of this (I know I am doing this mostly for myself but I would really really be the happiest person if I could help another person too) because I am sure there are others facing the same issues that I am facing!
My problems were mostly inside issues, of course, triggered by events that happened in my life, but I am sure that I kind of overreacted to many of the events, because there are people out there that have been through so much more and handled it so much better, but again, that's my purpose, to solve the problems that I have, that make me hurt so much on the inside. Good luck to me! :))
That being said, I wanna send a virtual hug to everyone that needs a hug, and head off to my daily chores.
Peace!
xx